A "misstep" is a an accident or blunder, while a "mistake"
is when the same "misstep" is repeated.
is when the same "misstep" is repeated.
DIFFERENTIATING GAME DAY ACCIDENT vs INTENT
Quite simply, a soccer game at an amateur level (pro am, semi pro, college, youth) level is full of intentional decisions, and full of "accidents".
When a parent or fan appraises what just happened on the field of play, it is important for the parent to have the wherewithal in all circumstances to understand that what "just happened" could have been "intentional" or could have been an "accident".
This could be a moment in the game when a parent wants a referee to intervene because the parent has decided it was "foul play". The referee on site has probably seen on the order of 10X more soccer activities than a parent (see Math Reference below). Referees work "year-round" while parents usually participate in the game "seasonally" during their child's main playing times and only on the occasion of their own child's game. The referee becomes very accustomed to differentiating "accident" from "intent".
Math Reference: Simple math used to determine referees have more experience witnessing the game than parents: referees officiate around 12 games per weekend at a highly focused level, while parents observe at most 3 games, and usually participate as a casual observer.
This could also be a moment in a game that a parent celebrates. An "awesome shot". The coach may know the player "mis-hit" the ball. The outcome looked great! However, the coach is interested in sustained success through proper process and might evaluate differently. The coach, who has hit a thousand shots, observed thousands more, understands the difference between "accident" and "intent". The coach understands process and long term consequential outcomes, the parent is only aware of the moment's "outcome".
While a parent may not have to be well versed in differentiating "accident vs intent", it is important for the parent to know that there is a difference between "intent" and "accident" and managing that difference on behalf of an athlete is actually very important.
Regarding referee decisions, and the interplay of player safety, a referee will evaluate how to interact with a game based on understanding of "intent". While intent may not change the application of what is and is not a foul, it can certainly change the referee's intervention.
Picture this within a game of 17 year old fast flying athletes:
A ball is being chased by a forward that was slightly overhit by her teammate. The opponent goalkeeper hesitates before coming off her line. The ball travels towards the goalkeeper, away from the fast flying forward. The fast flying forward pursues the ball. Both are headed TOWARDS EACH OTHER.
They are bound for a collision. However, the goalkeeper, and the forward, both will have about 1-2 seconds to mentally process their commitment to playing the ball. The goalkeeper commits to sliding, at the same time the forward commits to lunging - the resultant collision is massive - humanity colliding at full speed, while both are vulnerable. The scene is a momentary wreckage of humanity, during a key moment (goal scoring or goal saving) of a competitive game.
The opportunity for injury is high. The collision looks horrible. The first response of many a parent when witnessing their own child, or their child's teammate enduring such a collision is anger, vindication maybe, blame almost certainly on someone, fear of injury, etc.... The referee may understand through hours of observing this exact and precise moment, that both athletes were unaware when they committed to their decision, and have essentially created an "accidental" collision. The referee now must manage the technical decision of whether the ball was touched first by either and apply the letter of the law, while at the same time manage the emotions of athletes on the field, and parents off it, who are not able to come to terms with the "accident" that they have all assigned some level of "intent" to.
Of course if someone intentionally aims to injure or hurt another, or even is negligent in potential consequences of reckless behavior, this warrants strong intervention. However, there is also a strong possibility neither athlete knew better. After all, how many moments does even the most seasoned pro, engage in and practice a moment like that. Not many. The opportunity to fail by mistiming arrival is huge. The correct response might only be the wish for the safe unraveling of both athletes, and continuation of the game within the spirit of the laws of the game.
In short, in soccer at every level other than full professional (i.e. international play, MLS, English Premier League) the amount of "accidents" are rampant. Until you extract the upper 1% of the upper 1% of the skilled and fine-tuned athletes, the game will contain accidents. The impetus is on us to understand these occur.
When a parent or fan appraises what just happened on the field of play, it is important for the parent to have the wherewithal in all circumstances to understand that what "just happened" could have been "intentional" or could have been an "accident".
This could be a moment in the game when a parent wants a referee to intervene because the parent has decided it was "foul play". The referee on site has probably seen on the order of 10X more soccer activities than a parent (see Math Reference below). Referees work "year-round" while parents usually participate in the game "seasonally" during their child's main playing times and only on the occasion of their own child's game. The referee becomes very accustomed to differentiating "accident" from "intent".
Math Reference: Simple math used to determine referees have more experience witnessing the game than parents: referees officiate around 12 games per weekend at a highly focused level, while parents observe at most 3 games, and usually participate as a casual observer.
This could also be a moment in a game that a parent celebrates. An "awesome shot". The coach may know the player "mis-hit" the ball. The outcome looked great! However, the coach is interested in sustained success through proper process and might evaluate differently. The coach, who has hit a thousand shots, observed thousands more, understands the difference between "accident" and "intent". The coach understands process and long term consequential outcomes, the parent is only aware of the moment's "outcome".
While a parent may not have to be well versed in differentiating "accident vs intent", it is important for the parent to know that there is a difference between "intent" and "accident" and managing that difference on behalf of an athlete is actually very important.
Regarding referee decisions, and the interplay of player safety, a referee will evaluate how to interact with a game based on understanding of "intent". While intent may not change the application of what is and is not a foul, it can certainly change the referee's intervention.
Picture this within a game of 17 year old fast flying athletes:
A ball is being chased by a forward that was slightly overhit by her teammate. The opponent goalkeeper hesitates before coming off her line. The ball travels towards the goalkeeper, away from the fast flying forward. The fast flying forward pursues the ball. Both are headed TOWARDS EACH OTHER.
They are bound for a collision. However, the goalkeeper, and the forward, both will have about 1-2 seconds to mentally process their commitment to playing the ball. The goalkeeper commits to sliding, at the same time the forward commits to lunging - the resultant collision is massive - humanity colliding at full speed, while both are vulnerable. The scene is a momentary wreckage of humanity, during a key moment (goal scoring or goal saving) of a competitive game.
The opportunity for injury is high. The collision looks horrible. The first response of many a parent when witnessing their own child, or their child's teammate enduring such a collision is anger, vindication maybe, blame almost certainly on someone, fear of injury, etc.... The referee may understand through hours of observing this exact and precise moment, that both athletes were unaware when they committed to their decision, and have essentially created an "accidental" collision. The referee now must manage the technical decision of whether the ball was touched first by either and apply the letter of the law, while at the same time manage the emotions of athletes on the field, and parents off it, who are not able to come to terms with the "accident" that they have all assigned some level of "intent" to.
Of course if someone intentionally aims to injure or hurt another, or even is negligent in potential consequences of reckless behavior, this warrants strong intervention. However, there is also a strong possibility neither athlete knew better. After all, how many moments does even the most seasoned pro, engage in and practice a moment like that. Not many. The opportunity to fail by mistiming arrival is huge. The correct response might only be the wish for the safe unraveling of both athletes, and continuation of the game within the spirit of the laws of the game.
In short, in soccer at every level other than full professional (i.e. international play, MLS, English Premier League) the amount of "accidents" are rampant. Until you extract the upper 1% of the upper 1% of the skilled and fine-tuned athletes, the game will contain accidents. The impetus is on us to understand these occur.
"DO SOMETHING!"
Referee, "Do Something!"
Johnny, "Do Something!"
Sally, "Do Something!"
Hopefully in the above Johnny and Sally are your own children and do not belong to someone else.
We just want to point out that this directive is best left internalized and private.
When you make it public it is inherently insulting to the target. This is an unavoidable and inescapable part of this directive.
We have not yet found a human who wants to be told to "Do Something!" in the context it is used on a sports field, implying for the target they are simply "not trying", "not engaged" or "not smart enough" to figure "something" out.
And in a very real way, I have rarely heard this yelled when I did not question the momentary intelligence, focus, and mental aptitude of the person yelling the directive. It is actually most times a "dumb" statement. The statement "Do Something" carries no definitive action verb, and implies the person yelling it does not understand what to do, so in turn the yeller chose to say to do "something".
This is akin to teenagers who used to and sometimes still do reply with "whatever" when they can't articulate their disagreement with a situation. Or substituting a curse word for an intelligible word when frustration takes over. The hidden meaning might be suggestive, but the non intelligible articulation suggests a lack of understanding or inability to convey an understanding by the exclaimer. The same is true with "Do Something!"
Quite simply we suggest no parent yell "Do Something!" to a referee, player or coach. Keep it private, internalized, until that emotion subsides and intelligent reflection leads to intelligible articulation. Then share that in a space where it can be productive, instead of publicly insulting, and embarrassing.
Johnny, "Do Something!"
Sally, "Do Something!"
Hopefully in the above Johnny and Sally are your own children and do not belong to someone else.
We just want to point out that this directive is best left internalized and private.
When you make it public it is inherently insulting to the target. This is an unavoidable and inescapable part of this directive.
We have not yet found a human who wants to be told to "Do Something!" in the context it is used on a sports field, implying for the target they are simply "not trying", "not engaged" or "not smart enough" to figure "something" out.
And in a very real way, I have rarely heard this yelled when I did not question the momentary intelligence, focus, and mental aptitude of the person yelling the directive. It is actually most times a "dumb" statement. The statement "Do Something" carries no definitive action verb, and implies the person yelling it does not understand what to do, so in turn the yeller chose to say to do "something".
This is akin to teenagers who used to and sometimes still do reply with "whatever" when they can't articulate their disagreement with a situation. Or substituting a curse word for an intelligible word when frustration takes over. The hidden meaning might be suggestive, but the non intelligible articulation suggests a lack of understanding or inability to convey an understanding by the exclaimer. The same is true with "Do Something!"
Quite simply we suggest no parent yell "Do Something!" to a referee, player or coach. Keep it private, internalized, until that emotion subsides and intelligent reflection leads to intelligible articulation. Then share that in a space where it can be productive, instead of publicly insulting, and embarrassing.
SEE BALL, CHASE BALL
Let's consider two simple scenarios for this situation.
SCENARIO #1 SITUATION
The excitement parents have when a soccer ball is played into the "open field" and their desire to see the ball chased.
SCENARIO #1 RESPONSE
When the parents see a ball rolling, and no one running after it, the anxiety can build, and they can be implored to desire and express for someone to give "chase". The reality is, many of the athletes understand the "most likely outcome". Understanding the "most likely outcome" and then responding to it is -- INTELLIGENT and EFFICIENT.
There might be fine lines treaded here where athlete's "give up" or "concede". Conceding when a ball is still retrievable is an intolerable behavior. EFFORT is required as a non negotiable. However, from a tactical and strategic paradigm, efficient use of energy, is intelligent, and effective positioning is intelligent. For example, chasing a ball "for the sake of chasing" when it is foregone the ball is lost, would result in the player temporary out of position, and possibly unable to recover to the proper starting position.
SCENARIO #2 SITUATION
The frustration parents exhibit when an opponent organizes a build out phase, the parents want their team to chase the ball down.
SCENARIO #2 RESPONSE
When parents (or coaches) yell for a player to chase the defending team because as is often the battlecry "Don't just let them have it!" the parent is wanting to invoke effort, attitude, and create pressure. The desired result is right. The desired time is usually WRONG.
Proper pressing (pressure), per the WSA Way, occurs in two scenarios:
1) Immediately after possession is lost through an immediate counter press vs an unorganized opponent
2) When the opponent is organized and the WSA team is tactically, strategically shrinking space
When players give "chase" there is a methodology applied which leans on several functions:
Learning to understand your child's team's game model will help alleviate the anxiety in these moments. Until then, it is best to remain calm and patient, and if you evaluate a "lack of effort" to address this through post game questioning. And remember this key to leading transformative behavior: Do due diligence before you challenge a "Character Trait" (such as "effort"). A fast divide and break of trust can happen when a coach, parent, leader challenges the "Character" of another. Proceed with caution.
SCENARIO #1 SITUATION
The excitement parents have when a soccer ball is played into the "open field" and their desire to see the ball chased.
SCENARIO #1 RESPONSE
When the parents see a ball rolling, and no one running after it, the anxiety can build, and they can be implored to desire and express for someone to give "chase". The reality is, many of the athletes understand the "most likely outcome". Understanding the "most likely outcome" and then responding to it is -- INTELLIGENT and EFFICIENT.
There might be fine lines treaded here where athlete's "give up" or "concede". Conceding when a ball is still retrievable is an intolerable behavior. EFFORT is required as a non negotiable. However, from a tactical and strategic paradigm, efficient use of energy, is intelligent, and effective positioning is intelligent. For example, chasing a ball "for the sake of chasing" when it is foregone the ball is lost, would result in the player temporary out of position, and possibly unable to recover to the proper starting position.
SCENARIO #2 SITUATION
The frustration parents exhibit when an opponent organizes a build out phase, the parents want their team to chase the ball down.
SCENARIO #2 RESPONSE
When parents (or coaches) yell for a player to chase the defending team because as is often the battlecry "Don't just let them have it!" the parent is wanting to invoke effort, attitude, and create pressure. The desired result is right. The desired time is usually WRONG.
Proper pressing (pressure), per the WSA Way, occurs in two scenarios:
1) Immediately after possession is lost through an immediate counter press vs an unorganized opponent
2) When the opponent is organized and the WSA team is tactically, strategically shrinking space
When players give "chase" there is a methodology applied which leans on several functions:
- Distance the player will cover to arrive as a the primary defender,
- Space the player will vacate to become the primary defender,
- Territory of the field,
- Opponent's possession orientation (meaning is the team in positive or negative possession and there is visual cue signaling to instigate a press),
- Risk:Reward ratio discernment based on score, time, match result desired, etc....,
- Overall current fitness:fatigue ratio of the player and the team,
- Position of other teammates who can help construct the structure of the pressing shape,
- Directive of the coach regarding the game tactic for the match or situation within the match.
Learning to understand your child's team's game model will help alleviate the anxiety in these moments. Until then, it is best to remain calm and patient, and if you evaluate a "lack of effort" to address this through post game questioning. And remember this key to leading transformative behavior: Do due diligence before you challenge a "Character Trait" (such as "effort"). A fast divide and break of trust can happen when a coach, parent, leader challenges the "Character" of another. Proceed with caution.
BEST FOR MY CHILD CHALLENGE
I JUST WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR MY CHILD
In many cases of parent intervention, at school and inside competitive athletics, the phraseology “What is best for MY child” is used. This is a noble claim in so many dimensions of our human condition. An intense product of love, wanting the “best” for who we love.
It is also in so many dimensions of team sports, group activities, community-driven endeavors, a classroom of 30…. a SELFISH statement.
Question #1: Do you want what is best for others, the teammates on your child’s team?
This question amongst a soccer parent must drive part of this conversation: Do you care about the others on the team? Do you sincerely, genuinely, care about their “best interest”? Do your child’s teammates matter?
As a parent do you want your child to care about his teammates? Do you want your child’s teammates to matter to your child? Do you want your athlete to view his success in terms of his ability to create success for others, for his teammates?
The most commonly used reason for a parent to dismiss their child from a team, to allow their child to quit, or even to advocate to their child they should quit their team, is: “I want what is best for my child”.
WSA operates on the assumption that your child's team commitment IS IMPORTANT to their teammates. Your child is AWESOME and therefore does MATTER TO OTHERS.
What if the narrative would change to something closer to: “We know we want what is best for the team, the coach, my child. And I want to understand how I can help.” Where this seed of thought becomes a genuine sentiment, a process will surely flourish. Inside this statement we are leading towards production of solution seekers, overcomers, resilient mindset, honorable commitment to one's word, and responsibility TO OTHERS.
Question #2: Do you believe that adversity is a gift? Can you believe that?
One of the most difficult challenges of parent, a teacher and coach, who is endeared to the athletes, is to love them enough, to allow them to suffer and to fail. To believe that allowing an athlete to fail and suffer, was going to produce something inside of the athlete that no lesson or masterclass session would ever produce.
And as a sidenote, this decision of action on behalf of student or athlete, or your child as a parent, will not come with an immediate “thank you” from the person you allow to suffer, and go through it. Your delayed reward of gratitude from the athlete, is a condition of this process.
It is difficult. Most difficult.
Can you see adversity as a gift?
To clarify, the safety of any of my students or athletes, whether it be physical, mental or psychological is a non negotiable standard.
But the inconvenience for any of my students and athletes that included lost sleep, mental anguish, frustration, disappointment, lack of belief, self-doubt, lost confidence, are all part of a process of growing and becoming.
If athletes are not going through this adversity then the process within the environment being created is less than desirable for actual growth. Since the beginning, growth requires friction.
If we are not challenged, pushed to our limits, to find and uncover our capacity, then what really is the point. Because one of our main missions, our promise to “each other” at WSA Soccer, is to find each other’s best, to believe in each other’s best, and to advocate for each other’s best. And this requires facing harsh realities, difficult truths, and leaning into pain.
Sounds great.
Do you believe in any of that. Do you believe that adversity is a gift?
If you do, then why would you ever take that opportunity, that gift, away from your child, in one of the safest places to encounter it, a sports team, surrounded by people who care and value your child.
Each time you have intervened on behalf of your child’s playing time, you compromised this.
Each time you have intervened because your child was playing the wrong position, you compromised this.
Each time you intervened because the coach had a favorite that was not your child, your coach did something to create self-doubt in your child, a teammate stole a moment from your child, a referee mistake cost your child a fair opportunity; each time you intervened, you compromised this process. You in fact might have embarrassed your child, entirely more than the situation, or worse yet…. sent a message to your child you did not believe in your child’s capacity to endure.
Irony exists in this. You blame a coach or teacher for creating self-doubt, and it was your own intervention which your child did not require, because your child was already resilient enough, strong enough, and person enough, ready to manage and handle the situation, willing to seek solutions and problem solve. And you intervened, thwarting the process. And the real self-doubt came from your intervention, your own lack of belief and faith in your child.
Your child is likely STRONG, BRAVE, and CONFIDENT. Can you respect that in your child?
Can you understand that your adult world might have created callous against the mindset of “believing in the best in others”, or “seeking solutions through engagement, rather than abandonment”?
Question #3: Can you love your child enough to allow your child to suffer, go through it?
Life’s cruelest twist is that sometimes in loving, it is in letting go, and releasing the one we love to the risks associated with the freedom we want for them.
It stings, but often our actions and interventions in parenting our child through sport are SELFISH. No one has told you yet? It is OK. They are your best thing, the best part of you, your greatest source of pride, joy, and love. So acting selfish is natural. But it is not right.
You raise them to move onward, to become their own. This is the BEST kind of LOVE. The Bible accounts for the life a Son of a lady named Mary. Their love for each other was intense. And yet Mary loved her son to the point that he would carry out a mission that called for him to travel, ultimately leave, and to be gone for days on end. And even before he was a teenager. And you know the end-result of this mother-child relationship.
Question #4: Am I willing to challenge myself on the mindset I choose, and the process I implement, in advocating for my child, the athlete?
The next time your child is treated unfairly, by the game, a coach, a teammate, the referee, consider this: Is your child’s safety in real jeopardy because of the intent of another? If it is, then take action, immediately. Defend and protect yours.
If there is no threat to the safety of your child ask yourself these questions:
1.Is this situation unbearable and intolerable, or is this an inconvenience? Is this situation isolated or recurring?
2.Is my child strong enough to suffer through this?
3.Can my athlete grow, and become more, by managing this?
4.Am I capable to find the lesson in this and to advocate for that lesson?
5.Do I trust my child? (NOTE: not do I trust my coach or teammates, but my child).
6.Do I believe my child has value?
7.If my child has value, then is he capable of providing value to his team?
8.If my child provides value to his team, then does he have a responsibility to share this with his team?
9.Am I acting selfish? Do I really have my child’s best interest in mind?
10.Am I considering others, and the interest of others, and my responsibility to others in my decision?
11.Do I believe life is fair, or should be fair, and that my child’s soccer experience needs to be “fair”?
In many cases of parent intervention, at school and inside competitive athletics, the phraseology “What is best for MY child” is used. This is a noble claim in so many dimensions of our human condition. An intense product of love, wanting the “best” for who we love.
It is also in so many dimensions of team sports, group activities, community-driven endeavors, a classroom of 30…. a SELFISH statement.
Question #1: Do you want what is best for others, the teammates on your child’s team?
This question amongst a soccer parent must drive part of this conversation: Do you care about the others on the team? Do you sincerely, genuinely, care about their “best interest”? Do your child’s teammates matter?
As a parent do you want your child to care about his teammates? Do you want your child’s teammates to matter to your child? Do you want your athlete to view his success in terms of his ability to create success for others, for his teammates?
The most commonly used reason for a parent to dismiss their child from a team, to allow their child to quit, or even to advocate to their child they should quit their team, is: “I want what is best for my child”.
WSA operates on the assumption that your child's team commitment IS IMPORTANT to their teammates. Your child is AWESOME and therefore does MATTER TO OTHERS.
What if the narrative would change to something closer to: “We know we want what is best for the team, the coach, my child. And I want to understand how I can help.” Where this seed of thought becomes a genuine sentiment, a process will surely flourish. Inside this statement we are leading towards production of solution seekers, overcomers, resilient mindset, honorable commitment to one's word, and responsibility TO OTHERS.
Question #2: Do you believe that adversity is a gift? Can you believe that?
One of the most difficult challenges of parent, a teacher and coach, who is endeared to the athletes, is to love them enough, to allow them to suffer and to fail. To believe that allowing an athlete to fail and suffer, was going to produce something inside of the athlete that no lesson or masterclass session would ever produce.
And as a sidenote, this decision of action on behalf of student or athlete, or your child as a parent, will not come with an immediate “thank you” from the person you allow to suffer, and go through it. Your delayed reward of gratitude from the athlete, is a condition of this process.
It is difficult. Most difficult.
Can you see adversity as a gift?
To clarify, the safety of any of my students or athletes, whether it be physical, mental or psychological is a non negotiable standard.
But the inconvenience for any of my students and athletes that included lost sleep, mental anguish, frustration, disappointment, lack of belief, self-doubt, lost confidence, are all part of a process of growing and becoming.
If athletes are not going through this adversity then the process within the environment being created is less than desirable for actual growth. Since the beginning, growth requires friction.
If we are not challenged, pushed to our limits, to find and uncover our capacity, then what really is the point. Because one of our main missions, our promise to “each other” at WSA Soccer, is to find each other’s best, to believe in each other’s best, and to advocate for each other’s best. And this requires facing harsh realities, difficult truths, and leaning into pain.
Sounds great.
Do you believe in any of that. Do you believe that adversity is a gift?
If you do, then why would you ever take that opportunity, that gift, away from your child, in one of the safest places to encounter it, a sports team, surrounded by people who care and value your child.
Each time you have intervened on behalf of your child’s playing time, you compromised this.
Each time you have intervened because your child was playing the wrong position, you compromised this.
Each time you intervened because the coach had a favorite that was not your child, your coach did something to create self-doubt in your child, a teammate stole a moment from your child, a referee mistake cost your child a fair opportunity; each time you intervened, you compromised this process. You in fact might have embarrassed your child, entirely more than the situation, or worse yet…. sent a message to your child you did not believe in your child’s capacity to endure.
Irony exists in this. You blame a coach or teacher for creating self-doubt, and it was your own intervention which your child did not require, because your child was already resilient enough, strong enough, and person enough, ready to manage and handle the situation, willing to seek solutions and problem solve. And you intervened, thwarting the process. And the real self-doubt came from your intervention, your own lack of belief and faith in your child.
Your child is likely STRONG, BRAVE, and CONFIDENT. Can you respect that in your child?
Can you understand that your adult world might have created callous against the mindset of “believing in the best in others”, or “seeking solutions through engagement, rather than abandonment”?
Question #3: Can you love your child enough to allow your child to suffer, go through it?
Life’s cruelest twist is that sometimes in loving, it is in letting go, and releasing the one we love to the risks associated with the freedom we want for them.
It stings, but often our actions and interventions in parenting our child through sport are SELFISH. No one has told you yet? It is OK. They are your best thing, the best part of you, your greatest source of pride, joy, and love. So acting selfish is natural. But it is not right.
You raise them to move onward, to become their own. This is the BEST kind of LOVE. The Bible accounts for the life a Son of a lady named Mary. Their love for each other was intense. And yet Mary loved her son to the point that he would carry out a mission that called for him to travel, ultimately leave, and to be gone for days on end. And even before he was a teenager. And you know the end-result of this mother-child relationship.
Question #4: Am I willing to challenge myself on the mindset I choose, and the process I implement, in advocating for my child, the athlete?
The next time your child is treated unfairly, by the game, a coach, a teammate, the referee, consider this: Is your child’s safety in real jeopardy because of the intent of another? If it is, then take action, immediately. Defend and protect yours.
If there is no threat to the safety of your child ask yourself these questions:
1.Is this situation unbearable and intolerable, or is this an inconvenience? Is this situation isolated or recurring?
2.Is my child strong enough to suffer through this?
3.Can my athlete grow, and become more, by managing this?
4.Am I capable to find the lesson in this and to advocate for that lesson?
5.Do I trust my child? (NOTE: not do I trust my coach or teammates, but my child).
6.Do I believe my child has value?
7.If my child has value, then is he capable of providing value to his team?
8.If my child provides value to his team, then does he have a responsibility to share this with his team?
9.Am I acting selfish? Do I really have my child’s best interest in mind?
10.Am I considering others, and the interest of others, and my responsibility to others in my decision?
11.Do I believe life is fair, or should be fair, and that my child’s soccer experience needs to be “fair”?
MULTI ADVOCATE
WANTING BEST FOR THE TEAM & LONG TERM
As we are challenged to Love our athlete into the places that allow for failure, suffering, and important trials of disappointment, we can also be challenged to give energy to advocating for more than just "our own version of success for our own child".
To clarify, it is your right and expectation to desire "your own version of success for your own child". How you arrive at the definition of success is up to you. Above under "I Want What is Best for My Child", WSA challenges how you shape that perspective. WSA believes Success is a paradigm we choose, Achievement is measured internally, and Results are a metric of fact - See WSA Trophy Room.
The challenge herein is expanding your role as an advocate for your child's entire team. And expanding your advocacy for the mission and long term, sustained vision of the team, the Process.
"Trust the Process" is certainly overused, and misused, and now abused. It can be a "cop out" offered by coaches, leaders, pastors, teachers, and parents. When something is not working or going well in the moment, a "Trust the Process" statement is offered to cover the momentary failures.
A litmus test for a genuine request to "Trust the Process" is IF there is a PLAN. Working to understand your athlete's team vision, plan and process is a significant portion of your advocacy for your athlete.
Process is derived from a plan, which is derived from an objective, which should be derived from a Purpose.
Each WSA team and program should have a Purpose that produced a plan and a process towards carrying out that plan to realize the Purpose.
Your advocacy for this Process, the long term plan, is as much a challenge to you, the parent, as it is to the athlete, or the coach/leader charged with carrying it out. Process requires patience, endurance, resiliency, and consistent and persisistent effort. And the it most importantly does in fact require Trust.
The advice WSA offers is to participate in the Process. This provides greater insight, opportunity to influence, a chance to understand, and a deep rooted connection to your athlete's meaningful day-to-day.
Becoming an advocate means you are willing to be disappointed when things are a challenge, and willing to step back to try to gain a larger, wholistic picture of the team or program. Distractions will be a plenty. In 2025 the landscape of youth soccer is permeated by clubs and coaches who are constantly offering something "better". This IS a DISTRACTION from process. It is an interference to the genuine good that can Become of the willingness to be patient, to endure, to exercise resilience and to trust. In any world, someone asking you to break a commitment to others, is a WOLF in Sheep's clothing - BEWARE of these folks. They may not be recruiting you "to" something but "away" from something. A WSA coach is asked to undergo a scrutiny anytime a player leaves or exits another team to join the new WSA team. This adheres to our value for commitment, responsibility to others, and the value we know exists in enduring through trials with each other.
Becoming a multi-advocate is not easy. WSA has not chosen easy. WSA has always chosen to pursue what is ambitious, staying within The Mission: SERVE, CHALLENGE, TRANSFORM. Nothing regarding WSA's Mission is about or related to "EASY". We believe in each other's best, and we are inspired by what we can achieve together that is awesome (Coach Brian Elliott) and transformative.
Your capacity to multi-advocate helps WSA carry out The Mission. When you help carry out The Mission this helps align your athlete to The Mission, which provides the greatest opportunity for the realization of growth, and evolution towards Servant Character one of WSA's Primary Player Outcomes (see slide "outcomes" under Game Model).
As we are challenged to Love our athlete into the places that allow for failure, suffering, and important trials of disappointment, we can also be challenged to give energy to advocating for more than just "our own version of success for our own child".
To clarify, it is your right and expectation to desire "your own version of success for your own child". How you arrive at the definition of success is up to you. Above under "I Want What is Best for My Child", WSA challenges how you shape that perspective. WSA believes Success is a paradigm we choose, Achievement is measured internally, and Results are a metric of fact - See WSA Trophy Room.
The challenge herein is expanding your role as an advocate for your child's entire team. And expanding your advocacy for the mission and long term, sustained vision of the team, the Process.
"Trust the Process" is certainly overused, and misused, and now abused. It can be a "cop out" offered by coaches, leaders, pastors, teachers, and parents. When something is not working or going well in the moment, a "Trust the Process" statement is offered to cover the momentary failures.
A litmus test for a genuine request to "Trust the Process" is IF there is a PLAN. Working to understand your athlete's team vision, plan and process is a significant portion of your advocacy for your athlete.
Process is derived from a plan, which is derived from an objective, which should be derived from a Purpose.
Each WSA team and program should have a Purpose that produced a plan and a process towards carrying out that plan to realize the Purpose.
Your advocacy for this Process, the long term plan, is as much a challenge to you, the parent, as it is to the athlete, or the coach/leader charged with carrying it out. Process requires patience, endurance, resiliency, and consistent and persisistent effort. And the it most importantly does in fact require Trust.
The advice WSA offers is to participate in the Process. This provides greater insight, opportunity to influence, a chance to understand, and a deep rooted connection to your athlete's meaningful day-to-day.
Becoming an advocate means you are willing to be disappointed when things are a challenge, and willing to step back to try to gain a larger, wholistic picture of the team or program. Distractions will be a plenty. In 2025 the landscape of youth soccer is permeated by clubs and coaches who are constantly offering something "better". This IS a DISTRACTION from process. It is an interference to the genuine good that can Become of the willingness to be patient, to endure, to exercise resilience and to trust. In any world, someone asking you to break a commitment to others, is a WOLF in Sheep's clothing - BEWARE of these folks. They may not be recruiting you "to" something but "away" from something. A WSA coach is asked to undergo a scrutiny anytime a player leaves or exits another team to join the new WSA team. This adheres to our value for commitment, responsibility to others, and the value we know exists in enduring through trials with each other.
Becoming a multi-advocate is not easy. WSA has not chosen easy. WSA has always chosen to pursue what is ambitious, staying within The Mission: SERVE, CHALLENGE, TRANSFORM. Nothing regarding WSA's Mission is about or related to "EASY". We believe in each other's best, and we are inspired by what we can achieve together that is awesome (Coach Brian Elliott) and transformative.
Your capacity to multi-advocate helps WSA carry out The Mission. When you help carry out The Mission this helps align your athlete to The Mission, which provides the greatest opportunity for the realization of growth, and evolution towards Servant Character one of WSA's Primary Player Outcomes (see slide "outcomes" under Game Model).